Today was my last day of work for a while and it was CRAZY! Non-stop bill paying, money counting, depositing, dotting “i’s” and crossing “t’s,” whatever you want to say to describe the random tasks that swept through my office in my 9 hour presence.
This was a good thing in some respects because it didn’t allow me much time to acknowledge how terrified I am to start program tomorrow.
I opted to do a partial hospitalization so I could sleep at home and not, once again, be hours away from the man I love, but I have to meet some pretty strict rules and stipulations in the next few weeks for the professionals on my team to allow me to continue down that path.
Initially, they suggested me going to the Denver Eating Disorder Clinic because apparently it is one of the best in the world, but I am a firm believer that it doesn’t matter where I am, I have to put my best foot forward and kick this thing once in for all.
I can definitely admit I needed a little extra help/support, but if I am willing to make the necessary changes at home (which I am!) then I HAVE to give it a shot, because I KNOW I am strong and can conquer this disease.
How is that for confidence, right?!
Anyway, I just wanted to stop in and say hello and fully admit the fear I have about tomorrow…the lack of treadmill usage…the foreign foods that will enter my body…and a caloric amount that makes my heart beat a million miles an hour with anxiety.
So please, wish me luck, friends. You guys have been amazingly helpful and I cannot tell you how much I appreciate all your kind words 🙂