I recently got a comment from someone who could relate to my prior lack of socialization and concluded some of her reclusiveness stemmed from past situations that made her distrust or uncomfortable in groups.
Honestly, I could have written her words myself because when it comes to making new friends, especially female friends, I proceed with caution.
I have been hurt, like, A LOT, in the past.
And some of the people I felt were closest to me turned out to disappoint the most; either by talking behind my back, a lack of inclusion, or just by being blatantly and directly mean.
I harbored resentment for these people, and instances, for a really long time and allowed the emotional impact it had deter me from opening up and finding new people to connect with.
I believed that just because a few people hurt my feelings, everyone was out to do the same thing and would eventually just let me down so it was best to shut down and be a hermit.
Well, let me tell you; that didn’t work so well either, because I ended up finding a very self-destructive replacement that tried to kill me….
Anyway, a huge aspect of my recovery that involves not only food but a ton of emotions is being open to take some risks; try new things, and put myself out there for the world to see.
One of the scariest components of this challenge is associating with and becoming close with other women.
I have mentioned Brielle on here several times and she has been a HUGE asset/wonderful addition to my life.
Not only has she helped me conquer a few items on my list of getting-healthy “must-do’s,” but she is also one of the most fun people I have ever met.
It has been nearly a week since I have seen her and as weird as this may sound I really missed enjoying dinner across the table and a little fro-yo dessert with my friend these past few days. As Chobani would tweet, “People watching and sharing yogurt with a friend…#nothingbutgood.”
Similarly, I met another fabulous companion on one of Ryan and my visits to Rumor in Philadelphia, and over the last month we have formed a friendship that I cherish whole-heartedly.
Both of these women make me want to be better and push me to do so.
And they also help me realize how much I was missing by living in fear, alone, on my couch….or treadmill ( 😦 ), and it breaks my heart that I was responsible for the misery in which I lived.
Don’t let being scared prevent you from being happy. You really have nothing to lose by taking a risk so today, make it your motto and proclaim this “F*ck Fear Friday.”
What do you think?
What holds you back from living the life YOU want?