Friends and Face A Fear Friday

Let’s talk about taking advantage of what works.

I have tried a great many things in recovery that do not work, but there are a few tricks I have up my sleeve that, to this point, have never failed me if I actually utilize them appropriately.

I will give you an example, because I knew this week would be difficult, so when I did have moments of strength, I mustered up every ounce of courage in my body and committed to a success plan.

A few days ago I made arrangements with a friend to hang out after school.

We were to meet on the day I had to get up extra early and take Ryan to the airport, which in theory was perfect because I knew this day would especially be a struggle for a few reasons.

I was jealous of him taking a trip, feeling a little resentful because I have like 0 vacation time at my job, and anytime he walks out the door for more than a second, ED loves to try to weasel his way in by nagging me about restriction, how I should be running again, etc.

And no surprise here, I was right in my anticipation that Wednesday would be hard because immediately my normal, “workout, breakfast, safety net,” was disheveled by the hour and fifteen minutes I had in the car.

By 7 a.m. I felt like I overate, under-exercised and just looked like a freakin’ mess because I felt so poorly.

This might sound ridiculous; being so shaken up by one morning of 15 minutes less on the treadmill, but working on my ability to be flexible has proven to be one of my most troubling challenges.

Anyway, for hours I tried to figure out how to cancel my evening agenda.

What if she wants to go to dinner? What if I am tired and get home too late and my routine is “ruined” once again?

The healthy part of me…or the part of me that wants to get healthy?…really wanted to go out with Brielle.

Actually, that small positive voice really wanted dinner and some frozen yogurt but Ed just kept interjecting saying what a pest I was, how my friend probably did not want to spend time with me anyway, and I should probably just cancel to take a walk after school and eat something that was comfortable (aka boring.)

Finally, I sent her a text asking if we were still on.

When she responded with a yes I was torn, but in my heart I REALLY wanted to see her.

This particular female is one of my favorites to be around.

You can absolutely think I am weird for saying this but I think there are certain people we are just drawn to through connections that are pretty instantaneous.

The first time we met I enjoyed talking to her and realized how much we had in common, but in almost every situation where we were together, we were also with our significant others. In this instance I was looking forward to spending a night just the girls chatting and getting to know one another of a different level, because to be honest, I don’t really have many femakefriends.

So long story short, I really wanted to hang out, was just kind of panicky because ED is a douc*e bag.

When she asked what I had in mind for the night I again was flustered but thank goodness was honest and told her if I was coming her way I would really like to have some fro-yo.

At this current time my town doesn’t have a self-serve fro-yo which is pretty much a tragedy, but Sweet Frog recently opened close to her home and obviously this was a fantastic opportunity for me to enjoy my favorite treat…

(P.S. if you live near me you will be happy to know YoFresh is opening SOON! I know I can’t wait!!! Facebook them for more info 🙂 )

To my happiness, she was also in the mood for some frozen deliciousness, as well and suggested we grab some sushi before.

Seriously, I knew I liked her!

Those are two of my absolute favorite things, so enjoying them with a friend seemed like the PERFECT night.

As soon as I pulled in the driveway, petted her puppies, and we started to talk my mind was at ease.

…At the restaurant I tried some new fish, ordered a double seaweed salad even though the negative mind told me no.

…And at Sweet Frog I mixed several flavors, some that were on my “un-safe” list, and went with toppings other than fruit.

(Just as a side note, does anyone else think pretzels make one of the best adornments ever?! You know I love my sweet and salty concoctions!)

But aside from the food, the most important portion of the night, to me, was our conversation.

It was so nice to be around someone I feel is intelligent, interesting and encouraging.

I look forward to having more of these nights, and it just proved to me that sometimes surrounding yourself with positive influences, friends that will be with you regardless of a dress size, those who will lift you up rather than feed into the horrific stream of negative thoughts, can be the best medicine, or aid in recovery.

Friends work.

Support works.

Stepping out of your comfort zone and doing something even though your natural instinct says NOOOOO!!!

These things work.

Continuing behaviors out of fear and habit….not so much.

I kind of like these theme days this week so today is Face A Fear Friday.

What are you going to challenge today?


17 thoughts on “Friends and Face A Fear Friday

  1. I am so glad to discover that I am not the only one who thinks pretzels taste great with sweet things! I am almost ashamed to admit it, but I crumble them on top of chocolate pudding sometimes. Sounds weird and gross but it’s so good, I swear!

  2. I love this CJ and goodness can I relate 100%… as always! When I have plans with someone later in the day, I imagine making up every excuse under the sun to try and get out of it. I always have a “great” list of excuses i.e. lies in order to cancel the plans so I can be alone and do what I want to. I have gotten out of plans more times than I would care to admit and sometimes I do feel better after but most of the time I feel guilt and frustration with myself.
    So I am seriously sooo so proud of you for going out anyway, facing challenges, and then realizing you are capable of having a good time! You didn’t have to worry about the food and therefore was able to enjoy her company, that is just so nice 🙂 Most of the time I end up having a great time when I do actually decide to go out… I must remember that next time I am reluctant to go through with my plans!

    • We both need to remember these things, I just think we tend to catastrophize situations in our minds which obviously inhibit our decision making capabilities but NOT ANYMORE! Who doesnt love a night out with their girlfriends and some fro-yo?! I personally think its some of the best medicine against ED 🙂

  3. What a wonderful challenge – being social was/is still one of my biggest issues. Isolation is safe and comfortable, but also lonely and boring!! Good for you for pushing outside of your comfort zone! Hopefully we can get together soon!

  4. Tonight I actually have a big challenge- my cross country team is having a team dinner at a barbecue restaurant! To be honest I have never liked BBQ (even before Ed) plus it is sort of terrifying so I’m in for an interesting night. But your right, I am so thankful that my team will be there because being with friends helps so much.

    • Good luck at your challenge tonight!!! I am kind of with you that I am not a HUGE fan of BBQ. Now if you asked me to go for Pizza, I would be absolutely terrified but thats because I love it so much!

      You can do it lady! just remember im rooting for you 🙂

  5. Oh gosh I am so proud of you for this. I have backed out of plans way too many times due to my ED. I know I still need to push myself to break the routine even if every bone of my ED does not want to . Way to go!

  6. omg tonight ED told me that I was going to need to start preparing for a binge because I didn’t have a lot of plans to hang out socially with anyone. Whatever!! Just made a list of fun things that I can be doing! ED is NOT invited!!!

  7. So proud of you for knocking ED in the dust and going out with your friend! Hanging out with girlfriends is so great! And I am jealous that you are getting froyo! I am still waiting for some to come to Shippensburg!

  8. Yayayyayayaayyy!! 🙂 Love this post!! I had such a great time too so I’m so happy your faced your fear and came out. Can’t wait to see you again Thursday!!

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