Do you know what that means?!
I didn’t until yesterday, but all the students at school and on Facebook repeat it like it is going out of style.
I don’t consider myself completely out of touch, but I had seriously never heard that saying before a few weeks ago and now it is popping up everywhere.
I had to ask my sister what the heck it meant because I was curious and kind of sick of feeling like I was on the outside of some hip new trend (ok, maybe not…I am just the nosey school employee who likes to be “in” with her students…)
Anyway, Linds explained it stands for “You Only Live Once.”
That is way cooler than what I envisioned. I mean, it is the same kids using “YOLO” that also use “HMU” (hit me up) to their friends, and “STFU” (shut the f*ck up) behind teacher’s backs, but I have to say I kind of like YOLO.
I wouldn’t personally go around saying it to some random person on the street, but I do like the meaning, because I don’t really think of things that way.
I am constantly worrying about the future, planning, and not necessarily enjoying the here and now, or participating in any spontaneous activity, which makes for a
somewhat HORRIBLY boring existence.
This is not a new realization by any means, but sometimes I need subtle reminders of what I am missing, or what I could improve upon, and by hearing my seniors repeat their new favorite “word” I kind of got to thinking what I would do if I wasn’t so concerned, or pre-occupied with myself.
If you haven’t noticed, recovery and having an eating disorder take up a tremendous amount of time, which I would absolutely prefer to be spent on something else, but what?
In my dream world I would work in the travel industry. I would LOVE to see the world, write about it, give tours, be a historian, something along those lines, but that is just not realistic, RIGHT NOW.
I have tossed around working for Disney; planning vacations or selling Disney Vacation Club timeshare because it is not only something I know relatively well, but I am also extremely passionate about. I have always held back in pursuing those specific careers because of the distance between Orlando and my home, but now that my family is starting to spread out and Ryan has the flexibility to do his job anywhere, what keeps me from considering the options further?
I would also love to open my own bakery/café, with ingredients and items that were selected with care to make people not only feel good physically, but also emotionally and ethically, but I have squashed those ideas, as well, because I tell myself I wouldn’t be successful.
I enjoy my job, of course, love the people I work with, and am not planning on leaving, but the aforementioned occupations are what I saw in my life during my teenage and college years, and really thought I might be doing some day.
What else can I remember before I was severely diluted by ED that I brushed under the rug until now?
There is certainly food I “forgot” I liked that probably should be tried to determine if the negative opinions are really valid.
I don’t do many things socially because I have the belief that everyone is judging me, thinking I am a total loser.
Do you see a pattern? I live in constant FEAR that I don’t, or won’t measure up.
YOLO isn’t possible for me, or anyone for that matter, if they are constantly FEARFUL of the outcome.
I don’t necessarily have a solution, or answer for myself other than to continue working hard and attempting to rationalize my thought process, and remember that life is precious. No one knows what tomorrow will bring, so I want to start making TODAY what counts.
Although I love my good old mantra of PTG, perhaps I need to add a little YOLO to my repitoire.
And I am definitely giving the students a little extra credit right now, because their idea is absolutely worth an A+.
Have an awesome wednesday!