I have decided to keep this short and sweet because, really, I need a break from myself. I am bored, and I can imagine you have to be too.
It is seriously the same thing day in and day out…
“I am scared of this food, definitely not ready for that yet!…”
“I couldn’t possibly eat more than x amount of calories because even though I know I need to gain I don’t want it to go too fast….”
“I don’t want people to make comments about my body…”
“I need to exercise every morning or else I can’t function…”
Although each of the above statements is one hundred percent true, they are also one hundred percent annoying.
I told you last week I am sick and tired of being sick and tired, but that lasts for about three seconds until it is time for me to do the “right” thing and I just “can’t.” Or if I am active in recovery based behaviors, then I have trouble focusing on other things because the stress is too great.
It is getting a bit ridiculous and I feel horrible that you all have to read about it constantly.
I hope I demonstrate to you what a horrific monster eating disorders honestly are because I know there are some of you out there who are just like me…consumed and destroyed by the relentless negativity and internal war that just won’t quit.
I know I am not alone and that absolutely breaks my heart. No one deserves a life of torment and I am hoping I can someday rid myself of the horrific cycle that seems to continue.
So, I will be back tomorrow with a post, but Thursday and Friday I have lined up two special entries from contributing authors who don’t necessarily focus on eating disorders, but more on self-discovery, expression and self-worth.
I hope you all can benefit from their words as much as I did.
Have a wonderful, happy and healthy day!