I am changing it up a bit this week, and not really doing a WIAW post, but more a WILW instead.

What is WILW, you ask?


Sometimes I get really sick of thinking and talking about food so although there is a pretty amazing breakfast I want to share, this is more about the things that are making me smile right now.

I need to start with my brother-in-law. Obviously I love him all the time because we were friends before we became family, and he is a super awesome guy, but Monday afternoon he absolutely made my day.

Apparently he read my post “Endurance” and sensed I was a bit down, so around lunch time I received this:

Only You

No one on earth exists quite like you.

And no one is able to do what you do.

The person you are, the talents you bear;

Gifts that only you can share.

Only you have learned from the things you’ve done;

Gaining perspective from the battles you’ve won.

Times when you’ve lost have been priceless too;

The lessons contribute to what makes you, you.

The rest of the world can’t see through your eyes;

Which is why your insight is such a prize.

Because you are you there are lives you affect;

Much for than you would ever expect.

The things you do, the things you say;

Send ripples right through the Milky Way.

You’re unique, amazing, like no one else;

You have the exclusive on being yourself.

Isn’t that amazing?!

Monday was difficult for a lot of reasons; mostly related to the negative self-talk induced by my ED for a ravenous hunger, killer headache, and an afternoon snack that was totally out of the norm, but re-reading this poem a few times seemed to bring me a sense of calm that was really helpful.

Chad and I have never really discussed me being sick. I know he is aware of where I have been in treatment and that I was relatively unhealthy, but with him in Colorado and not getting to see each other very often, it is not something we bring up on the rare occasions we are together.

Maybe that is why (aside from how beautiful the words are on their own) I was so grateful to receive his text; because it was completely unexpected and heartfelt.

It made me feel very special.

On a way more superficial note, I am kind of obsessed with the new makeup I got from Motives by Lorin Ridinger.

I have been using this brand for a while; their eye shadows and nail polish are fantastic and come in such a wide array of colors, but when I ran out of powder the other day I decided to give this variety a try.

I do not like to look like I have a ton of stuff caked on my face, but this goes on so smoothly and did not make my skin feel greasy or heavy at all.

So now, between the nail polish, eye color, lipstick, blush and powder, my drawer is full of Motives. There are worse things in life 😉

It is no secret I love to travel.

I love to see new places whether they are five minutes down the road or across the ocean, and although I am not jumping on a plane for another few months, I am in desperate need of a mini-getaway.

A few weeks ago I booked Ryan and I a room at the very cute South Street Inn in Charlottesville, VA.

I have heard nothing but fabulous things about the area and recently read it was featured on the list of one of the best places to live in the US.

History, hiking and time alone with my husband sounds amazing to me and I have really enjoyed myself researching the area and trying to itinerize our short three days there.

I love to plan (obviously) but this time I am trying to have a “lose” idea of what we want to do and see. In the past I have coordinated our trips, basically down to the minute, but this April I am saying goodbye to the rigidity and welcoming a relaxing excursion with Ryan.

If anyone has any must-dos please let me know!

Ok, I do have to slip a meal in here just because it tastes so good and I have had it three of the last five mornings.

I may or may not have mentioned that certain breakfast foods are close to the top of my list when it comes to fears.

I LOVE breakfast.

Actually that is probably the understatement of the century because if I had to pick a FAVORITE nutritional category, breakfast wins HANDS DOWN.

BUT, I panic that if I eat something like French Toast or waffles, I will a. be starving an hour later b. eat way too much because it tastes so freakin’ good and c. eat too many calories that early in the day and then I will gain a million pounds overnight, or even that instant.

Irrational thoughts, I know, but it doesn’t make it any easier to get over.

The baby step approach to incorporating my beloved waffles has been to buy Van’s frozen variety.

*I tried Eggos too, but those things are so thin compared to the way more textured and delicious Vans.

Looking at the nutrition facts and ingredients I feel good about adding this item to my rotation and with the $1 off coupon I had from Whole Foods, it was like I was destined to buy them.

Saturday before we went to ESP, Ryan and I sat down and had breakfast together.

This is kind of unusual because my wake up time, especially on weekends, is a bit earlier and he is never as hungry when he wakes as I am.

But since we were dining as a pair I made him one of his favorites, dippy eggs with steak and toast, and I prepared two waffles for myself.

Totally copying from a few of my bl-iends I sandwiched some plain Chobani, Trader Joe’s frozen Cherry Berry Blend (thank you healthydiva for sharing these hidden gems!) in between and drizzled with some melty Trader Joe’s Sunflower Seed Butter.

Oh my gosh.

This was amazing.

I dreamed about it that same night because I knew it would be on the menu for the next morning.

Seriously, try this. Your tummy will be happy.

Nontraditional and not very food focused, but I think sometimes it is good for me to show that there is a ton more to my life than recovery. I am not defined by my eating disorder and in fact have a great many interests outside my journey toward health. Actually the whole self-discovery component seems to be one of the most rewarding aspects of the difficulties.

I hope those of you out there who are also struggling will keep that in mind 🙂

Happy Wednesday!


4 thoughts on “WILW

  1. Oh dear C.J., what a beautiful tribute to a wonderful woman, from a brother-in-law!! Unheard of I say! Please read those heartfelt words over and over…hang them on your mirrors etc.! Make them line those neura l pathways as you write your new life story!
    You switched your focus rather abruptly to make-up, then a waffle breakfast! I am guessing that they were easier to focus on than the extreme feelings that Chad’s beautiful words must have evoked in you……embrace them, own them and NEVER forget them! You deserved every last one! Xoxox

    • I did switch rather abruptly but I think that is how my mind works a lot of times. There is so much going on and it often has trouble focusing on any one thing. I really wish it would slow the heck down sometimes because it really is exhausting! Hopefully I will see you today! Ill be in the office ❤

  2. You ARE so much more than an eating disorder 🙂 ANDDD that breakfast sounds so delicious. You are great… remind yourself that because WE all see it clearly 🙂

    • Jocelyn, You are so sweet! thank you very much for always saying such nice things. This made my morning and totally inspired me to enjoy my delicious breakfast again; and without as much guilt!!! hope you have a super day girl! ❤

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