Sunday already and the wrap up to a pretty nice weekend.
With Ryan in Vermont Friday and most of Saturday, I made a few plans to keep myself occupied and break up the household chores, but when Friday afternoon rolled around I began to panic.
Oh my gosh. The school musical only starts at 7:30. It is almost 2 and a half hours. I won’t get home until after 10. That is an hour after snack, and bedtime won’t be until at least 11, ruining my normal schedule. Maybe I shouldn’t go? It might be nice to just stay home anyway…
This dialogue ran through my head for a lot of the afternoon, which I really did not have time for considering my day was pretty jam-packed with important work-related issues.
It all came down to my eating disorder, obviously, since my major worry was, heaven forbid I eat more calories than what was “appropriate” since I would be waiting longer than my food schedule/body is used to.
Pathetic, really, but maybe some of you can relate that a VERY annoying aspect to being sick is the constant thinking about food, and how it often dictates what you can and cannot do.
But despite the nonsense that continued in my brain, I ended up going to the musical and I am so glad I did.
The show was AIDA, which I had never seen before, but was pretty excited about because:
1. I love to see my kids doing something other than just school work and depositing money.
2. I absolutely LOVE the theater.
I have never really discussed this before but growing up my family and I attended quite a few Broadway shows every year. It was like a fun tradition to go into NYC, stay in a big hotel, get dressed up, see a matinée and enjoy a weekend away from the little town in which I reside.
My favorite as a little girl was Beauty and the Beast, which my poor mother sat through four times, but as I got older I loved the songs of RENT, the Sound of Music, A Chorus Line, Grease…I’ll stop now because I could probably go on forever.
The point is I just love the atmosphere of the stage and why I would consider NOT going because I was worried about a potential extra hundred calories is just silly.
*Please see AIDA if you haven’t, or at least download some songs. Elton John and Tim Rice are a fabulous team when it comes to composing a score and I caught myself humming “My Strongest Suit” pretty much all day Saturday. I should totally be a character on Glee!
Saturday was also a bit of a challenge because my agenda consisted of my normal a.m. Zumba, and an afternoon meal out.
Saturday mornings are the only dance class I am attending per week. I have cut back from doing 2-3 sessions for some health reasons, but I really do look forward to an hour of moving my body in a way that doesn’t feel so forced and obligatory. (I.E: Treadmill walks you are starting to bore me…)
After that I was headed home for a quick shower, and out the door to meet up with two very special ladies for lunch and a goody swap at Panera.
I will definitely be including these in WIAW, and have mentioned them before, but if you have not heard of, or tried Heart Thrives, get some immediately. They are Am-a-zing!
The three of us put in a joint order so we decided to couple a catch-up session and snack exchange as a lunch out.
When I got the Panera, mentally things got a bit haywire. My meal plan was completely destroyed.
(I obviously had to determine what I was going to order BEFORE I got there…)
They did not have one of the items I was going to include in my “You Pick Two.”
What a tragedy, right?!
Not only was the black bean soup not featured, even though it is at every other Panera on a Saturday, but this was seriously the most disorganized establishment ever. The manager was text messaging on my phone in the food window, they screwed up both my friend and my order, a few times, and the boy behind the counter tried to give me the wrongly prepared item in addition to what I ordered…
“It is free food! We have to throw it away back here anyway…just take it!”
Um, no thanks?!
But anyway, it isn’t as if Panera does not have other options or is a terribly unhealthy place, I just had a bit of an internal anxiety attack because my “normal” meal was now “ruined.”
Keeping in mind my nutritionist’s advice, to challenge myself with AT LEAST one thing, every, single day, I decided to venture out of my box and get a side item that I deemed pretty scary.
In all reality it is a completely normal and healthy choice, but the “excessive” carbohydrates in the whole grain baguette have always deterred me from getting it.
Truthfully, a crusty piece of textured bread might be one of my favorite foods in the entire universe, so it isn’t like I don’t LIKE it, but my fear of carbs has always made the “mini-loaf” terrify me.
Oh well, I ate it and I am here to tell you that not only did I survive, but I had a wonderful time seeing Molly and Jolene; especially since both are doing very well in their own recoveries and are quite inspiring. (If you want to have a little boost of motivation, check out Molly’s blog here!)
I stopped and did some errands on my drive home, including a stop at Target which is never a good idea (can anyone go in there and walk out empty-handed!? because I cannot!) spent some time cleaning and then Ryan surprised me as he walked in the door just as I was about to prepare dinner.
He decided to come home from Vermont a bit early, so we spent the night catching up on each other’s weeks, watching some DVR’ed trashy TV and snuggling on the couch.
I enjoyed those activities so much Sunday might have to be a continuation of our Mob Wive’s marathon and time by the fire 🙂
It is weird to think I used to dread weekends so much; the lack of schedule, wrenches that sometimes mess up my normal “routine,” but now, as hard as they are, I am starting to welcome a bit of down-time, afternoon naps, and meals made away from my kitchen.
I may not be making HUGE strides in the recovery department, but for me, sitting for three hours through a musical and intermission without going absolutely insane, having unexpected menu changes and still challenging myself with a “no-no” item, and feeling less guilty about relaxing side by side with the man I love, are relatively big accomplishments for me.
Moral of the story: maybe I need to tell ED to shut the f*ck up a little more often and see what life could REALLY be like on the other side.
*Please remind me I said that tomorrow 😉