WIAW: Trying Out The New Plan

Since I told you all I am in way less control of what my meals contain, there have definitely been some alterations to my diet.

New things have been tried, calories increased and my stomach is thankfull starting to get used to an updated plan.

Instead of dreading a bulkier lunch, it really hasn’t been too bad the past few days.

Not to mention, although my mind is still racing a bit after everything is consumed, it is nice to not KNOW the exact measurements of every single ingredient, since Ryan is pretty good at disguising portions and mixing things together (i.e. hummus is now dispersed throughout my salads rather than neatly plopped on top in a tablespoon.)

We took many of the foods I had on my fear list and are slowly trying to incorporate them in a manner that is not TOO terribly overwhelming, but is enough to definitely push me out of my comfort zone.

All that being said I have to tell you I was most surprised at my fondness for hardboiled eggs.

I had these a few times in different treatment facilities, but when I got home having a yolk was absolutely out of the question; too many unnecessary calories! But there have been a ton of studies that eggs can be really good for you and they are delicious on top of a salad!

I still enjoy my egg whites in the morning, but this week, in my rotation of additional proteins, eggs have made an appearance, and shocker…I did not die! The very scary egg did not kill me after all.

I also enjoyed a pretty awesome Trader Joes Reduced Guilt Pizza Primavera.

Go ahead and yell that this is still considered a “diet” entrée, but me and pizza were not friends in the past.

Anything Italian was pretty much a no-no, and the combination of cheese and carbohydrates DEFINITELY placed pizza on my list of scary items.

When we made homemade pizza at my first facility, the dietician actually took the liberty to re-do mine since the amount of cheese and thickness of the dough was not appropriate for a “normal” person.

I was just trying NOT to hyperventilate as I grated the mozzarella; I didn’t mean to make her that angry.

But anyway, my pizza was discarded and a new one showed up on my plate. I was not a happy girl.

Every other hospital I have ever been in has included a pizza “party” in at least one week of my stay, but still the fear remained.

After we saw a movie Friday (Safe House…awesome!) Ryan said he wanted pizza and that his craving was kind of typical for the end of the work week, lazy Friday evening.

Typical to whom?!

But in my effort to do the “healthier” thing, I was thankful that I had this as an option in my freezer.

He asked that I add a few things to the meal, and a side item here or there, but he was happy with my effort to try one of his favorites.

In all seriousness, I love pizza. It is so tasty and totally hit the spot, but I don’t know how enthusiastic I would be about ordering a slice at my local parlor. Hopefully some day, but for now, let‘s continue with the baby steps.

I think one of the best things I had this weekend, something I will definitely be ordering again in the near future, was the most delicious chicken sandwich in the entire world, from a small little café in our town.

*I totally wish I had a picture because words cannot do this sammy justice, but my camera was stolen, remember!

On homemade multi-grain bread, with lettuce, tomato, pineapple salsa, Dijon, and Balsamic, was a spicy grilled chicken breast that tasted absolutely amazing.

I think it was the bread and salsa that really made this stand out, but I have not had a sandwich on non-diet bread, eaten in a pretty normal fashion, in a very long time.

I loved every bite.

Sunday dinner also consisted of a challenge, but one that was very welcome, and something I do NEED to incorporate back into my meal plan.

My iron is ALWAYS low, which is probably part of the reason I am tired most days, and I really do enjoy the taste of red meat, so why I have avoided it for so long is beyond me.

Lean beef is actually a pretty great option for variety and can be made into so many things. When Ryan requested we have steak, I was hesitant but we picked out a really nice Great Range Bison filet and paired it with sautéed mushrooms and baked yam, and the meal turned out to be very wholesome and satisfying.

Plus, steak invokes a ton of positive memories for me, considering it is pretty much my Dad’s favorite food and I have eaten at a million and one steakhouses since that is his number one restaurant request.

I used to love sitting around huge round table having great conversation, lots of laughter, and a family unity I haven’t experienced in a very long time.

I would eat steak every night if I could have those times back.

For anyone who is struggling to incorporate fear foods into their recovery, it helped me to view them as nutrients rather than the item itself; protein for muscle growth/repair, healthy fats for brain function and fabulous skin, carbohydrates for energy…

And of course savoring the taste wasn’t so bad either…

Typically my scary list is comprised of amazingly delicious things, because I have the belief that if I have some, I will need it ALL, ALL the time.

But that wasn’t the case, I am alive to write this post, and it was nice to have meals that felt “normal,” side by side with the people I love.

My mind might dispute me saying this, but my body certainly thanked me for a productive and more balanced weekend.


19 thoughts on “WIAW: Trying Out The New Plan

  1. This makes my heart SOOO happy!!!!!!! Girl, I am so proud of you. And now I really want to try this chicken sandwich. Lunch in your town next?
    And I hear such incredible things about Bison. I wish I ate red meat because Bison is considered a super food full of health.
    Again girl, ❤ you and so proud.

    • thanks girl! I am trying! I know you will love me X amount of pounds from now haha and this little cafe is adorable! they have all sorts of interesting combos…avocado, granola and fruit sandwich?! but the atmosphere is so quaint and the tea selection is outstanding! last week I had vanilla, pineapple, coconut tea. Oh my gosh it was like heaven! lets make a plan soon…i dont care where we go I would just love to see you 🙂

  2. So so so happy for you CJ! I am so glad you and Ryan found a new plan to help you continue on your road to recovery and a beautiful long-lasting marriage!

  3. I love eggs, and I love that pizza. I don’t eat pasta anymore either, but I do eat pizza once in awhile. Okay, like twice a month. I get a slice of whole wheat pizza from a health food store’s hot bar. They always put the craziest toppings!

    • oh wow that sounds fantastic. my town doesnt have a health food store unforunately 😦 but some of the local shops around us are starting to make wheat crust…maybe I need to try some!

  4. It’s probably hard for anyone who has never lived with anorexia to understand just how major the things you’re writing about are…but as someone with an ED, I am totally impressed. I’m so happy to have come back online and found you still working as hard as ever. ❤

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