Coming Down From a Holiday High

Sometimes I really miss being small.

A very frail-looking sick individual.

I miss it because it expressed physically, how I sometimes feel internally.

I am very blessed to have a wonderful family and friends, who gave me a fabulous holiday, but today is not so good.

I am upset I didn’t post what I initially planned this morning because now you get the negative nancy who was so prevalent last week, but hopefully it will demonstrate that with every day, life is not one straight line.

There are highs, lows, peaks, valleys, and sometimes extended times with each.

I am very much looking forward to a new year and a fresh start, and this week gives me a few days to regroup and really reflect on where I need/want to be.

Enjoy your Monday, friends.

You deserve a much better entry than this.


10 thoughts on “Coming Down From a Holiday High

  1. Hey! We all have low times. Believe me. Yesterday I was so excited I ate three full, no calorie-counting meals, and today I want to starve and be hungry SO BADLY. Every bite is a struggle.

    We are here for you – but we do not DESERVE anything. this is your blog, to post how you feel, what you are going through – don’t do it for us, do it for you! A post like this just shows us how real and honest you are, and allows us to give you support and encouragement.

    Life with an ED is hard. Holidays with an ED are harder. I get it, believe me, and I feel for you. Please know I care and am rooting for you and praying for you.


    • it is so nice to wake up to such a sweet comment. thank you for your love and support. since you know how hard holidays can be you also know how much love and care is appreciated. i am thankful to have you in my life 🙂

  2. Every day is going to be full of positives and negatives.
    Christmas for me was full of disappointments, BUT… Also, I impressed my mom and didn’t disappointment people in other ways.
    You have to accept both.. Because even those without eating disorders/past eating disorders have struggles every day. It’s just part of learning.

    • you are so right. life is not ALL good or ALL bad, its a mixture of both and how we handle it that counts. you are so strong hun. i am very proud of you for going home 🙂

  3. Do not worry about having perfect entries! 😉 Your honestly means a lot. I am actually glad I am not AS small as I was last Christmas because I felt more comfortable just talking without getting overwhelmed with worried looks from all my relatives, but I also know what you mean in a way. I felt like people made comments that led me to assume that they think I am fine now because I look better, but I still have a lot of internal struggles. I hate people worrying about me, but I also hate those assumptions.

    I actually had a good Christmas, I usually hate the holidays, but last Spring I moved out of state from all of my family so I enjoyed going back home and seeing everyone and got more in the Christmas spirit! I hope you have a Happy New Year! Keep staying strong through these changes, I know how hard that is.

  4. The changes just keep piling up. Sometimes life just doesn’t give us enough room to stock pile resilience so we are ready and primed in advance. We all have to lean heavily on others when that happens.

    In fact perhaps that is the best definition of resilience: not independence, but rather inter-dependence.

    We often say this to little children when they are overcome with emotion: “Use your words.” We all have to be reminded of that. You don’t need to be physically small or diminished, because you can use your words to pull all the love, resources and nurturing to you that you need right now.

    Virtual hug.

    • i think you are exactly right when you say sometimes asking for help is what truly shows resilience. i started seeing a new therapist last night and the first thing we talked about was open communication and breaking out that handy dandy tool box of healthy coping mechanisms. those will definitely be needed the next few months. thank you for all your support, gwyneth. you are truly a blessing.

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