So I told you I would let you know what this major life change was that occurred for me last week.
I feel kind of bad because it really isn’t all that exciting, just extremely different from what I was doing before…
And since tonight is the school board meeting where I will officially be approved for my new position, I guess I will tell you….
I am no longer working in a classroom (or, uh, trailer).
Instead, I am now the Coordinator of High School Support Services, which is just a big long title for the person who handles student activities, finances, the extra-curricula schedule and building plans.
It was pretty unexpected actually, since the position was posted only two weeks ago; I had an interview two days after my application and resume were submitted; I was called to come see the head of secondary education two school days after that, and the very next morning I was up in the high school office training and moving my stuff in.
The job description is extremely different from my previous duties working with alternative education. I do get to see students pretty frequently throughout the day but now it is to collect fundraising stuff, help them reserve rooms for their clubs and organizations to meet, sometimes to chit-chat, but before the bulk of my day was centered around helping individual pupils succeed….now I work a bit more behind the scenes.
I also very rarely get to see my little CLIIPers because they are located off campus and don’t often come up to the regular school building other for discipline or counseling.
It was pretty devastating when I had to tell them I was no longer going to be working with them. I cried which is pretty rare for me, especially in a professional setting, and to be honest I still have mixed feelings as far as if I belong in an office rather than a classroom, but the opportunity in this position is wonderful.
It is great for our family, puts is in a better place for Ryan to go back to school, and I feel more comfortable as far as finances are concerned, but at the same time, the pressure is pretty immense.
The woman I am replacing is fantastic. She is wonderfully organized, well-respected, phenomenal at what she does, and I had three days to learn programs and rules that I have never heard of until Wednesday.
Ryan is extremely nervous that the additional stress might make me slip up a bit in my recovery and he is right in the sense that my mind has been more ED lately than in the past few weeks, but I havent acted on the thoughts. I just have a lot of negative self-talk and body image issues that the stress makes it difficult to ignore.
Fortunately I am pretty savvy at faking it until I make it and don’t foresee this being a physical obstacle, just more of a mental block that is making it hard to push forward, or at least be completely positive about my physical appearance.
I know that sounds completely vain, but I can work through the feelings of inadequacy or ineptness at my new position. Those things I can talk out with my superiors, Ryan, or whoever else will listen, but my body is something even when I do converse with Ryan about, it is hard for him to understand and sympathize.
For now, instead of focusing on all that junk, I am going to celebrate that fact that my career is advancing, I am taking on a new challenge, and that I get still get to work with the amazing people I had as my administrators when I was in school, the fabulous office staff who are more like family than anything, and at a place I am very very very proud to be a part of.
That sounds like a way better idea than obsessing about the jiggle I feel in my thighs. Don’t you think?!
I hope you all had a fabulous weekend!!!