So even with everything that has been going on the last few days, I still went to my nutrition appointment for the week. And again, I have made “progress.”
I left the office feeling quite torn.
I know my weight now, which surprisingly did not impact me as negatively as I would have anticipated.
Yes, it is a way higher number than I am used to allowing body to be, but I am trying to look at the positives and I am not TOO far away from the point where Ryan and I agreed I could start jogging.
I know what you all are thinking…
“CJ, give it up on the gosh darn jogging.”
But honestly, I have a much better attitude about the sport, and it is no longer about the caloric burn but the challenge for my body and the sheer boredom of walking pretty much every day.
Not to mention, I love the thrill of competing against myself. I miss that little adrenalin rush and I am seriously looking forward to getting it back.
Runners out there, I know you know what I am talking about.
Anyway, so here is my “dilemma.”
I have to gain weight regardless of how fast it happens. My nutritionist, Ryan and myself all “agreed” upon a healthy place, where my body will function properly and it pretty much stands as non-negotiable. Scratch that, it is absolutely NON-NEGOTIABLE.
Right now I am chosing to gain a the slowest rate any professional would probably allow, and I was doing so because I felt I couldn’t handle a faster progression, but lately, there have been things that made me question whether or not I should try to speed up the process?
Obviously not at a ridiculously fast pace, but a more reasonable outpatient rate that would possibly get me to my goals; health, running, FREEDOM, etc. in a more timely fashion that next June.
I have to admit, my motive is not one hundred percent pure. I would LOVE to be able to participate in the Disney Princess Half Marathon. That is setting my sites super-duper high and the likelihood of it happening are pretty slim, but I am the kind of person that needs tangible motivation.
I can’t really see the internal benefits that are occurring from my weight gain. I certainly feel them and am very happy, but it’s not really a measurable way to determine progress.
I get sick of people focusing on a scale number, but in reality it is a way to help gauge the status of one’s health (please do not mistake this for being the ONLY way).
But I need a goal, and success should be rewarded in some sense. A race, and obviously a mini-getaway since I am totally ambitious to run another Disney race, seems like a pretty awesome prize.
So I am torn as far as if I should increase my meal plan and shoot for such a lofty goal….any thoughts?
Similarly, I mentioned my outlook on running has changed. And it has, immensely.
A few months ago I did not believe in walk breaks.
No way. Walk breaks were weak in my silly eating disordered brain, but after reading a bunch of article and the training plan published by Jeff Galloway, i realized how silly that notion was.
Walking is awesome! Yes I get bored doing it every single day, but your body does need rest! 13 miles is an incredible distance for your body to endure. I am sure there are plenty of people who can run the entire thing and for that I commend them, because that is quite a feat! But if I am lucky enough to participate in a half, ever in my lifetime, walk breaks are totally appropriate.
In fact, if the Princess half was in my future, I would not really have a time in mind for when I would like to finish. I have put my body through a tremendous amount of stress in the last few years and I should celebrate the fact that it still allows me to incorporate physical activity into my life. I would be proud just to say I finished, healthily, happily and wholly.
What are your thoughts on both these subjects?
Is there shame in walking during a race?